Episode #70: Wade Wilson

🎙️ Pushing for Greatness, Leading with Heart

In this episode of the Significant Coaching Podcast, host Matt Rogers sits down with Wade Wilson, Head Softball Coach at Texas Lutheran University and one of the most successful coaches in NCAA Division III history. With a national championship, over 450 career wins, and the highest DIII softball winning percentage of all time, Wilson has built a powerhouse in Seguin, Texas.

But behind the numbers is a coach who wrestles with the emotional weight of leadership. Coach Wilson opens up about the intense standards he holds for his program—and for himself. In one of the most moving moments of the conversation, he reflects on the toll that drive can take on relationships with his players, and the constant tension between pushing for greatness and making sure his athletes know how deeply he cares.

Matt shares how he sees his own coaching journey in Wilson’s story, and the two discuss what it means to lead with both edge and empathy.

 🔸 What it really takes to sustain excellence year after year
 🔸 The emotional toll of coaching—and the fear of being misunderstood
 🔸 Building a team that performs like a family, not just a roster
 🔸 Lessons from one of Division III’s most dominant softball programs

To get more weekly insights on college recruiting, leadership, and athlete development, subscribe to the newsletter or schedule a 1-on-1 session at coachmattrogers.com.

Transcript

0:06

Welcome back to the Significant Coaching Podcast, where we go beyond the wins and losses to explore the heart of coaching, why we lead, who we lead, and how we grow along the way. I'm your host coach Matt Rogers. Before we dive in, I wanna encourage you to rate, review, and follow the podcast. Your support helps more coaches, athletes, and families. Discover these meaningful conversations. And if you haven't yet, visit coach matt rogers.com. That's where you can grab a copy of significant recruiting. Read our weekly blog and schedule a one-on-one strategy session with me to talk through your recruiting journey, whether you're a coach, a parent, or a college bound athlete. Now today's guest is Wade Wilson, the legendary head softball coach at Texas Lutheran University. Entering his 14th season, coach Wilson has built TLU into a division three powerhouse leading the Bulldogs to the 2019 NCAA National Championship and a 2021 National Runner up finish. With a career record of 455 wins to 92 losses and a conference mark of 246 wins and 20 losses. Wilson holds the highest winning percentage in NCAA Division three softball history, and ranks third all time across all NCAA divisions. But this conversation isn't just about the wins. Coach Wilson is a hard-nosed leader who pushes his players to be their best and holds himself to that same high standard. In one of the most powerful moments of the episode, he opens up about the emotional costs of that drive, his concern about how it affects relationships with his players, and his deep desire for each young woman to know just how much he cares about them. It is honest, it's vulnerable, and it's everything this podcast stands for. Let's get into it. Here's my conversation with Coach Wade Wilson. All right, coach Wilson, I gotta start with a hardcore question for you. do you get Wade Wilson, the football player, or Wade Wilson? Deadpool? Which one do you get more often? Earlier it was the quarterback, and I checked into a hotel in New Orleans one year and it got cussed out. I'm like, yeah, that's not me. And lately it's more Deadpool, and I had never seen the movie when they were, I had no idea what they were talking about, but that seems lately it's more Deadpool stuff and I've still yet to see it, so I probably need to check that out. My last name is Rogers, so I've gotten Mr. Rogers in the neighborhood jokes my whole life, so I had to Absolutely. I had to start with that. coach, thank you so much for being on, especially in the heart of what you're about to do. start the playoffs, start the national tournament. I know you got so much going on with the conference tournament. You've built Texas Lutheran into one of the great stories in all of D three softball. When you first took the job, did you envision this level of dominance? Has this journey surprised you? yes. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I've always. thought I was good at what I do, and I don't think it matters what I'm doing. I think there's a thin line between confidence and cocky. and you gotta be careful with that. And I don't ever wanna come across as cocky and sometimes confidence does, coming in, the first year I thought I was gonna be able to change the world and realized how hard it was. I had a pretty tall, and we were 19 and 19 my first year here. And, we just, it's what it was. looking back on it, we were fortunate to be 19 and 19, right? and then the next year we had a little success, and then it just rolled from there. and I've talked with several coaches this year about that, man, I don't know that it's any easier now than it was back then because the pressure that comes with it, and it's all the pressure that we've put on ourselves, right? We've asked for this. it's not any easier. It's just different, expectations are there. we talk with our team all the time about expectations. Our opponents have expectations. those programs have expectations as well. They may just not be as high as ours, it's not necessarily anything that we've done with this group. It's the people before them, the girls that have come before them and have laid this down. it can't last forever. we're trying to hang onto it as long as we can. it's been a great ride. It sure has. It's been fun to watch I'm excited to see all that's coming down the road for you guys. We live in a world that's obsessed with moving up the ladder. you've been committed to Texas Lutheran and building something, really significant, really legendary, and instead of chasing other opportunities that I'm sure have been thrown at you, what's been at the heart of being a D three coach and where's that joy come and that being able to wake up every day and say, I can't wait to do this again. where's that come from all these years? I think, winning is important, right? And I know the next step, if I were gonna leave here, university of Texas and those kind of schools are not knocking on my door, right? So I've had some opportunities, but most of'em are mid-majors and mid level, it's. Rebuilding and doing that stuff. And now with the landscape of the way it if you get any talent in there, they're gone the next year. So the mid-majors, it's a really tough place right now. and I don't envy those guys at all. and then the older my kids got, the stability of being in the same spot has been huge. I've got triplets that are 19 and freshmen at TLU that's great. and they've got to go their entire career. They've lived in Sein and gone to Navarro and grew up in, in this environment. I think if things were different here on the job part of it, that then maybe we would've looked. But I'm, I've been so happy here and winning's a big part of it. they take care of me here. I enjoy my job. I enjoy the people I work with. We're able to get really good student athletes in here, great kids. And when I was younger I definitely wanted to see myself coaching against the greats. I just felt like I wanted that challenge. Yeah. Yeah. I feel that. I understand that. the longer it's been and the more people I talk to, they're like, dude you've got it figured out.'cause it's not all about that. The travel, even the D two level, some of the friends that I have that are coaching at that level, the travel that they do is relentless. You just, you're giving that up. And so I'm fortunate here that I've got a, we've got a great president and a great board of regents and my athletic director is awesome. I hope he sticks around as long as he does and gets me through my career because it's, I have fun coming to work every day. I feel like I'm respected and supported and winning's important and all That's good. Everything I'm looking for in a job is here. Why do I need to go anywhere else? I love hearing that'cause very few. Coaches can speak to that level from the president down, the support they have and the commitment to athletics. But, and I think it just starts with, there's so many academics that are running schools right now or fundraisers. They really don't understand the impact that a really strong athletic department has on every other department, on that campus. For sure. For sure. You've won championships at both the high school and college levels. How do you describe the difference to a young coach that's starting out? How do you build something really long term to really get it going? What is there some DNA that in that's involved in what a great program looks like and how you build it? I think there is, and I, I was fortunate enough to work as a, under Brent Davis, a young football coach, and he gave me my first softball job. and one of the deals I know that we were up for a few jobs and I say we, he was up for a few jobs and we would gone with him as a football staff. One of the things that he looked for is that he wanted his boss to be the superintendent as the athletic director, not the principal. And so as I started moving up, the things that I'm looking for is, when I came to TLU, one of the things, several of the things that I was looking for, one, a new facility that was a good chance of that happening. Two, the people that were here had been here a long time, right? Whether they were having success or not, they were happy here. They weren't jumping ship there. There was some comradery amongst the coaches. The athletic director played here, coached here now is the athletic director. Winning was important, so I knew to be successful, you've gotta have support both monetary and support. That winning's important, right? it's easy to try to do the right thing and support everybody. if parents come in and have a problem, I know my athletic director's got my back. Granted, I have the right, and more times than not coaches are. but all of the things I think that were important for me that I thought I needed to have behind me to be successful, we're here. then the rest of it is just, you gotta get the right kids in here. It doesn't matter how the coach, if you don't have the right players and students and people in here, then it's gonna be hard to be successful. So I think there's a lot of luck along the way, but I think too, I, this is, you're 28 I think, for coaching softball. that's a lot of luck. So we're doing something right. I don't know what it is, but I know that luck's a big part of it, but we've been awful lucky. Preparation's the king of that luck, isn't it though? No doubt. And I know you do. let's talk about, let's talk about a Texas Lutheran bulldog. Let's talk about your players. is there a DNA that you love in your players? is there a common thread? Because I know you've got a diverse group of young women in your roster, but is there a common thread through what a bulldog looks like for you? I think there is, and it's getting tougher to find, because I coach a little different, and it's more from the seventies that era, you know? Yeah. Old school. I don't have a filter. I use a lot of four letter words. And in today's society that's tough. And finding those kids. And so we have to recruit and. And we have, we recruit differently, and we talk about that, that it's, you've gotta remember that it's not personal. I'm gonna coach you hard, and if I change right now, you would all see through it. it wouldn't be genuine. You'd like this. What's this dude doing? Yep. And so it's not always pretty. it's, I'm very critical. and it's getting tougher to do because kids now, it's instant gratification. They need to be told how great they are all the time. And that's just not me. right or wrong. I'm not saying it's right for everybody, but it's worked for me, so I've gotta go find those tough kids, one of the questions we ask in the interview, during the recruiting process is, would you slap your mom for a w it's gotta be that important to you, and I love it. And another thing we look for is kids, do they share a bathroom growing up? And that's teamwork right there. Because if you have your own bathroom growing up, you don't know what it's like to share anything. And bathroom is probably the best thing to have to share with somebody. You learn schedules and figuring it out and all that other stuff. So there's not a right or wrong answer to any of those questions, but it just gives us a little insight in that. But biggest thing we're looking for is hardnosed kids. Because when times are tough, and especially this time of the year, times are tough, and we need some grit and, I've questioned my team a lot on that this year. are you tough enough to do what we're asking you to do? And if not, then we got the wrong group in here, and with a portal now, it's so easy for kids to transfer and we always leave it open. Hey, if you're not happy here, go somewhere else and you can be happy. A lot of places, it doesn't have to be just TOU we're looking for a special kind of kid, and we haven't had anybody take us up on that for the most part. but it's, yeah it's getting tougher to find those kind of kids. I wanted to talk to you specifically, coach,'cause I think we're a lot like the things I've read on you and listened to you. I wanted to get your perspective on that in this day and age and where this world of coaching has gone. And I think what it's hard to articulate to kids when you coach'em hard is listen, you came here to win. You picked us to win. So when I'm pushing you to teach you how to win and how to prepare it, it isn't personal. We practice is over we can talk about everything. Yep. But that two hour, two and a half hour window we have, we gotta get something done. That's right. And I want you to get from where you think your potential is to way up here where I know it is. And we can tell kids that till they turn blue in the face or till we turn blue in the face. But is there something in a freshman or a sophomore when that kind of clicks when they get it? It's tough as freshmen and especially with, the thing we see the most is when we have a JUCO kid come in here because We have to expedite that relationship. Yeah. We've got two years to make it Right and a lot of times the trust and What I've been harping on our kids here late is that who I am between those lines is a totally different person than I'm in this office or anywhere else in my life. Just out there, it's business and I'm hardcore and you're gonna get your feelings hurt off the field. That's where you need to develop the relationship. and my office is always open and I challenge them to come in because if you get to know me here there's a relationship built, then that hour and a half, two hours that we're out on the field, you're gonna understand where I'm coming from.'cause you trust me, we have a relationship. If we don't have that, then it's tough and then it gets real old real quick, so we challenge our kids to spend some time with us off the field and to get to know us, to develop a relationship there, because I don't think, as coaches, I know for a fact that I can't be as effective as a coach. And I think I'm speaking for all coaches. If there's not trust there, once there's a relationship built there, then I can get away with whatever I say. And it's not always pretty, yeah, I understand that. We had that talk yesterday I told him after the game when we played on Saturday, is that it's real easy for you guys to get caught up soft. You, you are not a softball player. It's what you do. Yeah. It's what you do. It's my livelihood. But for you, you're just a softball player. It's not who you are, it's what you do. So don't get the two confused. Yeah. You're great kids. You're great human beings. And I trust any of you in my house with my kids, with my pets, but on the field it's a job. And for me, it's a job. We have to remind them of that often because it gets caught up in it. You'll hear our kids all the time there's a compliment. You better put that in your back pocket. Hang on to it.'cause you're gonna need it at some point, that's right. Absolutely. it's easy to overlook that and you have to remind'em of that they're loved and cared about it's tough. Whether they know it or not, you've given them such a great gift for the rest of their life on what it's gonna be like to be an adult and the rest of their life should be easy. it should be. the games should be easy. That's the plan, Your teams don't just win coach, they dominate, and I'm sure a lot of that has to do with how you recruit for pitching and things like that, but what role does pressure play in maintaining that excellence year after year are how do you develop kids that can handle that pressure? I think part of it, and we had this talk yesterday as well, is that it's because it's constant in our practice, right? there's not a day off out there, right? There's days where I'm probably a little more relaxed when it needs to be like right. The day before a game, I'm usually a lot more relaxed because I want them. The pop, that's what we call it.'cause I want them a lot of energy and moving and not thinking and just relaxing and playing the game. But other days it's high intensity. So when they are in that situation, you hope that those practice moments pay off? Yeah. in the fall we do a lot of competition. In the spring, not so much, but it's still high intensity and if they screw something up, they're gonna hear about it. So there's always that pressure there, of performing. And then when they get in the moment, it's what it is. sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn't, and you always get to that point. That's a problem I've struggled with lately, we're winning, but at what cost am I damaging in that? I hope that five years from now they can look back and say this was a positive influence for'em. Right now, I think some of'em would be on the fence, right?'cause they don't realize the value of it. and so that's, I think the problem that I've struggled with lately is because I. We, I don't know that we have a strong enough relationship with a few of our younger players yet to where they really trust that, I think it's coming, but at what expense, and that's easy for me to question as a coach, I overshare with my team. I'm never lied to'em. I'm always who I am, and if you ask a question, I'm always gonna answer it. And I don't know if that's right or wrong either, but it's just worked for us to being honest. I have no filter. It's just what I'm thinking is what it is. I don't know if it's right or wrong. I really don't. I'm a lot like you. when you think about freshmen, I, there's a movie in draft day where he talks about rookie quarterbacks. He hates rookie quarterbacks. I've always looked at freshmen if I can get you to get it where the light bulb's coming on, you're learning how to practice, you're learning how to show up prepared. You're learning how to relax in the box. You are learning to, to be able to handle any situation. If I can get you there in 18 months, halfway between your sophomore year, that's always been my goal. Yep. Are you, do you see it that way too? And you'll see some kids, we've got a few kids that have been really good as freshmen, yeah. we've got a freshman right now that's been a big time contributor for us this year, and she's just, from the day one, it was, it never seemed like it, the moment was too big for her. I don't know that she's always had the success, she didn't have success early on, but it didn't feel like it was too big for her, she just wasn't having success. But it still felt like it was no big deal, and so you are looking for those kind of moments. And then others, it takes a while. We've got kids that, we've got a couple juniors right now that are in the lineup that struggled as freshmen and sophomore and we're more role players and now they're finally seeing their time and those stories are great too. you love to see that'cause, the instruction that we're giving, the drills, the time, the investing and all that is paying off for'em. So that's always fun to see too. So I've done a lot of different stories like that. Love that. Love that. I was a college basketball coach I love teaching kids how to play fast. I wanted to press, I wanted the other team to constantly be on their heels. Yep. TLU is synonymous with aggressive base running. How did that philosophy of pressure softball become such a core part of your identity? I can tell you the moment it happened, it was in 2003. We had, I thought we had the best high school team in the country. We had two all American pitchers. One of'em ended up being an All American at ou and we won games, one to nothing, two to one. And we gave up 11 runs that year. That's how dominant our pitching staff was. Wow. We got into a game where we were losing one to nothing and their picture was good as well. We couldn't, we, we couldn't string hits together. And so we got the second base, with one out. I tried to still third, it was a foul ball. I tried to still third. It was a foul ball. I tried to still third. It was a foul ball. We tried to still, third, we got thrown out. And then after the game, the parents lined up. We lost the game. It was a one game series. We lost the game. Our season was over with. And the parents, and it was in Brenham, Texas, where it's Baseball Capital of Texas. Softball was big there too. And I was a first year coach at Brenno, and they had just played the state tournament the year before. And so I decided right then that it, and it was my fault because we didn't do that. Prior to that. We didn't have we were stationed to stationed. And so the next year when we got to first base, we stole second, we got to second, we stole third. And by the halfway through the season, the fans, the parents, the kids expected that. And so that's just the game we're gonna play. And now when you get thrown out, it's no big deal, right? We out twice this past weekend.'cause the dumb third baseman coach, the third base coach was the dummy. And that was me. But It's not the end of the world because we're gonna play that aggressive style of That's right. We've been doing that for 22 years now and it's worked out well for us. And I love it. What it does is it hides some other flaws that you have as teams. We don't have to be as good a hitters'cause we're gonna run. All we gotta do is get on base. And so now when you face elite pitching, it's not about, boy, you gotta go up there and get a hit. It's, you gotta go up there and get on base. And there's a lot of ways to get to first base. That's right. And you can't steal first base. Unfortunately. If we could steal first base, we'd be really good. It does so much. You used the word trust earlier. I would imagine when you're giving these kids so much green lights and you're letting'em run and letting them be aggressive, it's a great place to build trust, don't you think? It is. But with that comes some responsibility. Yeah. We had pinch runner come in this past weekend and we burned our first basement. She was out and she's gone on, I think she had eight 50 this weekend, but she had already been sub four once. So we took her outta the game and put a pinch runner in and she leaves early. And I'm like, what are you doing? We just take the kid out. She's outta the lineup for the rest of the game and this is what we get. She could have left first base early. You gotta be a little better. You're put in a big situation. And now this kid and our first baseman thinking I could have left base early if that's all we're gonna do.'cause that's an immediate out, yeah. And so whether she deserved that or not, I don't know. but I was frustrated and back to the, I have no filter and she needed to fill that as well, and we've had to do some damage control with that over the last two days, trying to get her back because we're gonna need her in the playoffs. yeah. It's just part of it, so there's some responsibility there. And, if we get thrown out, it's usually not a good discussion when we get in the dugout.'cause you messed up, you weren't fast enough, and that's not fair either. But it's. How much of that next step is them learning that you love them even when you're hollering at'em? That tough, man, that's the part that's getting harder, and it's, you just have to remind them. And I think it helps that my top assistant played for me. And we butted heads a bunch. We had some knockdown drag outs out there, and so it helps with her because she can, she's been on both sides of it. She's been in their shoes, she understands it, and it's easy for them to pick it up. I've got five, six assistant coaches that their job, they, all of them have my personality for, they're very competitive, with the exception of our pitching coach. And he's the nicest guy, soft-spoken. The rest of us are, with the exception of Kyla, have all been head coaches and, they've had that hat and so they had to change their personalities to pick them up, because I'm usually the one that knocks'em down. And if we get more than me knocking'em down, then it's just too much, yeah. So it's great that we have. I have unbelievable assistance that just counterbalance me and it takes five or six of'em to do that, i'm very fortunate to have that they can love on those kids. and that's when they need it is when I've been in the middle of their rear end. They've got somebody there to say, Hey, it's gonna be okay. I used the word luck earlier. I think that's where the luck comes in when you have, because it's so hard to find ace and assistant coach at the D three level, let alone 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of'em. That love the game, love the kids as much as you do. I can't do it by myself. I've tried that before in years past, and it never works. You can't be good cop and bad cop. It just doesn't work. I've had some dog crap years and I look back and it's because I didn't have an assistant coach or had a part-time assistant coach, or I had an assistant coach that wasn't there for the right reasons. No doubt. It's tough, man. It's really tough. You can't do this job by yourselves. and there's people in our conference that are having to do that man, it really makes it tough. It does. loyalty's a big thing. for me, I don't know, moving forward if I could ever hire somebody that didn't play for me Because I know that they know where I'm coming from. yeah.'cause then They're learning you just like the kids and now you're going, can I get them to trust me and buy into me and believe in me? in under 18 months. it's a necessity. Yeah. Yeah. Especially in the environment that we're in, in society, because if you ever get in a situation where there's, a disgruntled player, the first person they're gonna go talk to is the assistant coaches. That's right. I'm not saying that I want any of my coaches to laugh for me, but I want'em to be honest about it. Yeah. and if you get, there's so many situations where coaches have been burned because their assistants are not loyal because they're after that job or whatever it may be, and you see it every day. You read about it all the time, and it's competitive as it is. And I don't think it's as much at the D three level, but it's still competitive. We still wanna win. Our athletic director wants to win. but how baseball coach gets fired yesterday, Mississippi State baseball coach gets fired yesterday at this point in the season. Are you kidding me? Oh, look at the Denver Nuggets. Fired their coach three days before the playoffs started. guy's been coach of the year three times. he won an NBA championship a few years ago. how do you replace that with what you think is, you think there's gonna be something better out there? You can't. So all coach, I wanna transition. I love talking to D three coaches'cause I was one for a long time. And the balance that you find as a D three coach is so important. You've coached national statistic champions in softball, you've coached national academic champions. How do you balance pushing that for greatness on the field and off the field without one suffering? How do you find that student athlete balance? I don't say no. And it's taken some getting used to when a kid says, I need to go do this. Okay. You just have to trust them. And it's part of that, and if they take advantage of it, then that's on them, but we've got kids. There's a good chance tomorrow we're playing, or Friday we're playing in our first conference game, and we may have five starters missing because they've got exams, this time of year, it's not my choice. it's gotta be their choice. And then, we tell'em that every day life's about choices, and I can't make those choices for you. Yep. We have kids studying at practice, kids with flashcards in the outfield and. I'm okay with that. it's not ideal, but it is what it is. we very seldom have a practice with all of our kids there. They're either getting there late or they're having to leave early because they've got class or they've got something going on. Nursing has become a big issue because kids with clinicals and all that, they can't get out. we've had to play short. We've got student teachers that haven't traveled with us this year because they couldn't miss Thursday and Friday. So it's just what it is. And I, you don't ever wanna put that on the kid, but at the end of the day, they've got to make that choice, not me. They've got to work with their professors, they've got to make those arrangements. And it works out. It always does. And it's just what it is. Anytime. This and the kids are paying for their education. They're not giving to'em. You need to take advantage of it. You don't wanna be here any longer than you have to. so it's important that you take care of that. And then I figured out I'm wasting my time with study halls. There's such a, I think every year that I've been here, we've had at least a 3.6 GPA as a team. Wow. And so the peer pressure that they have amongst each other. It's more than I could ever put on them. They don't wanna let each other down. And I'm not saying everybody's a three six student, but the majority of our students, education's important to'em. They're gonna be professionals. and it helps that our majors here that are really good are our nursing and PPT Pre-Med Accountancy, which has got a master's program. Here's, the majority of our students are in that and already coming in with, they're pretty good students. Yeah. And I think the D three, you can't get in here being a dummy, so that helps. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not saying we're Ivy League, but our kids are pretty sharp. it's important to'em. I think that's been the biggest thing for us. You've had multiple Americans, coach and you've always had team balance rosters, deep balance rosters. How do you coach your role players compared to your stars? Is there a way that you approach that? That's something I always struggled with.'cause I'm, I was hard on every, I was gonna push you to be your best, no matter who you were. I was gonna coach the heck out of you. But it was those kids that just had that special ability that you just, there's something that you just know they're a little bit better than everybody else. How do you handle that kid compared to your scrappers and your role players? I'm like, how many butt chew ins have you had since you've been here? And it's a few. I'm like, do you think you've had as many as so and and Annie Kay, who I think is a, she's on the Player of the Year watch. She's sitting 4 96 right now. I think she's gonna be the player of the year in our conference. I think she'll be a first team All American, or she should be anyhow. She didn't slide it home, this past weekend. It was a forced play and she went in there and didn't slide. And then I didn't say anything to her because I thought it was the fastest way for her to get there was to run through it. But she went up to my assistant and she goes, I'm a little surprised you didn't get on me for not sliding. And I wish she would've because I don't want the team thinking I'm not, I'm getting out of something. I'm like, I wanted her to run through. It was faster for her to do it that way than it was to slide. And in a forced situation, you don't have to slide. So it worked out and it wasn't, Looking back on it, you wanna say slide, but at the same time it was the right thing, move for her to do at the time. but yeah, they get our studs get it? I challenged our All American second baseman who's won the Golden Shoe Award the last two years. I challenged her after game two. I'm like, you've gotta be better in front of the entire team. You've gotta be better. I need more out of you. And she went four for four in game three. So it's great to see that. It's great for the role players that, that do end up on the wrong end of a butt chewing. And then, but they also see that your all Americans are getting it as well. We've benched all Americans and all, you're not playing, you're not performing, you're not doing what you need to do. you're going through the motions. You're not gonna play just because of what you did last year. So I think it all boils down to we're putting the team out there that gives us the best chance to win. And if, whoever that may be, and I had to love on a kid, that's been a starter for us most of the years. She's gone through a struggle here lately, and she handled herself very well this weekend. And I sent her a text on Sunday. It's Hey man, I appreciate you handling this like a true professional,'cause it's tough. I know you're going through it. I know you want to play, I know you want to do well, you're just struggling right now. But she's handled herself very well. So you have to, when you see those opportunities, it's always good to just love on'em a little bit there because they could cause you some problems in that dugout. A lot of times we don't see that as coaches, it's behind the scenes because we're so busy in the game and Misery's looking for company, so I think our kids are aware of it and understand it. It's just, yeah, you just coach'em all the same, love it. You've been doing this a long time. You and I have both been doing this. I've been doing it about 27, 28 years. You've been doing it for 28 years. Are there things that you've learned to watch for? Red flags, non-negotiables, things you're watching in a high school or a JUCO kid where you're like, kids, great. But I just don't think she's got what we need. I don't think she's gonna be able to survive here. Are there things that, like your head just there's an alarm that goes off? Yes and no, because I've always felt like I can save a kid, yeah. I've always that, that, that's always been, I'm big believer in second chances. Yeah. I'm a believer in kids making mistakes and we can help them. I'm gonna be good enough to help them. It doesn't always work out that way, but, so I think that's, for me that's a weakness because I always, I believe in people, yeah. I want to give them a second chance. I think body language is the biggest thing because it's something that's, I. A kid is either confident or not, and bad body language is a sure sign of them not being confident. And I say that once again, body language. I'll just make a statement, body language and not necessarily directed to anybody, but other than who I'm talking to. But you'll see all of them. is he talking to me?'Cause body language is the big thing, especially in the circle. Our pitchers, it's real easy. Be frustrated with an umpire, be frustrated with a call, be frustrated'cause you don't have any command of a certain pitch, and all of a sudden your body language has gone to crap. but I think that's probably the easiest thing as coaches for us to watch and monitor. I don't enjoy watching when a parent's overly, involved in a game cheering or positive or negative. I just sit there and watch your kids play, yeah. and so I think that's probably the biggest red flag that I look for in that. but body language would probably be the biggest, yeah. That's a big part of it when you talk about how you coach. Correct. And I and I can say that'cause I always like that too. I wanted talk about saving kids. I believed in kids so much. I'm like, let's go. I see where you're already, where you should already be. I know you can be there, let's get you there. But there has to be a sense of that patience, especially on your roster where you have so much talent. They're, you're bringing in kids that may not get to play a lot that first year. they were first team all conference. They were all state and they're coming into your program and they're sitting behind somebody that's all American. How do you instill that patience, that development idea, that trust in the process? and I know that's probably getting harder with this age and where we're at, but is there things that you're instilling or you're using your assistant coach to instill or maybe you even using your seniors to instill? I wish I, I think you can always do better than that. I think you have some success stories and we've got several of them going on right now where kids that were role players last year, They were really good players, but they just were lacking. They had a deficiency somewhere where most of it's offensive, they were lacking offensive and they couldn't get in the lineup and stay in the lineup. They'd play late in the game defensively'cause they were so good. And then you see them have some success and then they worked themselves into the lineup at the cost of somebody else now being outta the lineup, kids that were hitting in the three, four hole, one of'em on the bench right now. The other one's down in the lineup. and so I think, when you get to that, it's about being fair but at the end of the day, it's my gut of this kid's gonna help us win. senior day was, I hate senior day,'cause all the seniors feel like they're, Obligated to play. And it's just, it's not that way. We're trying to win a game, so if kids get in a game, it's not because I felt sorry for'em, it's because they've earned it. So when you hold to that standard that when they get there, it's oh, I deserved it.'cause he is not putting me in just because he's not putting me in'cause I'm having a bad attitude. He's not putting me in because I'm a senior. He is not putting me in. He's putting me in because I've earned it. And so I think that at the end of the day goes a long way. I don't care what their parents do or if their grandparents are big contributors. I'm trying to win softball games More times than not, it's hard to argue with that. It's really hard to argue with that when we're 37 and one, yeah. If we were 20 and 20 then there's a lot of people in the peanut gallery saying, I deserve to be playing. And they're probably right, but if you go, oh, for 12, there's a good chance you're probably not gonna be in the lineup and sway it is get figured out, we gotta go with somebody that's getting the job done. So I, I've been very fortunate with not having a whole lot of that in my career. And I learned that early on. and we were six and oh my first year of coaching softball. And we had a kid miss, because she was showing an animal, and her replacement went like seven for eight, and then she came back on Saturday and I'm like, I'm not taking seven for eight outta the lineup. Yeah. It's what it is. And her parents met me after the game and wanted to talk and I talked and then finally I was like, listen, if you don't like it, go somewhere else. This is the way it is. And. They're like, okay, I didn't have any more problems. my rest of my time at Sentence. And the word got around he ain't messing around. You might not wanna go talk to him'cause he's pretty much a dick. and so it, it carried over with me at Brenham, my parent meeting. I treated the same. If you don't like the way I'm doing it, go somewhere else. He can play something else. There's other options. They can play soccer, they can do whatever, be in the band. Extracurricular. So I've been pretty fortunate there, but I think the biggest part of it is that winning cures a lot of, that. It solves a lot of those problems. And, kids who are not gonna speak up, who are maybe feel like they're not getting the opportunity, it's hard for them to speak up when we're winning. Yeah. That makes sense to me. it's hard for anybody to understand that, you are earning this opportunity if somebody's a little better than you and can help us win a little bit more, they're gonna get the opportunity. And you're gonna cheer for them just like they were cheering for you. Absolutely. It's no different in the business world, if they can do your job better or cheaper, they're going to. And if they do take your job, that means tomorrow's an opportunity for you to get it back. That's right. Exactly right. All right. You brought up your record. I wanna talk about March 14th. Was that the one game we lost? Yes. How important do you think that loss is in going into the national tournament?'cause you've seen so many teams in every level, every sport that goes into the national tournament, 30 and oh, 15 and oh, and they lose in the playoffs because I never wanna be an O ever. It's fine being undefeated, but I don't want that. How important is that game going into these next three weeks? We don't dwell on that much and we don't talk about it. I think it's a lesson learned and this is the reason we've done that. I think the thing that makes, I. And we've talked about this, I've talked about with our coaches, talked about with our team. I don't think me being me I tell'em, I'm not trying to sound egotistical. I'm, when I talk to my coaches, when I talk to my team, but I don't think if I'm me, if I'm anybody else, that we're not 37 1 right now or whatever, we're 30. I guess we're 37 and one. We're not 37 and one right now, if I'm not me, right? Because we've played down to our competition so much this year. That's what scares me as a coach, right? We're winning, and we win eight to nothing and still play pretty shitty. And that's the thing. What we're fighting against as coaches is that we don't want to do that. That's not what championship teams do. And so I think that. We're trying to learn those lessons when we win, because that's how I am. usually after losses. I'm a little more easygoing as far as, okay, this is what we did wrong. This is what we gotta get better. It's not a time to kick'em. I kick'em more when we win. Like usually the when we go to talk after a game, the first three or four things are, this is what we've gotta get better at. This is what you screwed up. This is what we gotta get better at. Proud of you. You competed well, you found a way to win. You didn't have your best stuff all. All the things that we can build on, but at the same time, this is what we gotta get better at. We've had two games this year where I thought we've played well. The other games we've played well enough to win, but we haven't played. We played Trinity the last game. We had a rain out. We had to make that game up and it was, I don't remember when we played'em. We played'em in March 25th. Yeah, been that long since we've played well, and after the game, I'm like, that's what it looks like. That's what you're capable of. That's the standard we're after. That's what we're trying to get. and that was nothing but positive things, and then that's what it's supposed to look like. And so we don't dwell too much on it. I don't think we've talked about it since then. Oh yeah.'cause it shows that we're beatable. You've had a, you're at McMurray this weekend. You had a couple close games, 7, 4, 9, 7. Are those games where you have to battle a little bit and you have to finish when the other team's bats are hot? Maybe your pitching isn't as hot as they've been. Are those type of wins, can they be even more valuable than a loss? Absolutely. If you're able to coach through those, right? I think if you just like, oh, great job guys, we broke. You've gotta get, why did we get in that situation? We got in that situation because we walked people, right? We, Amanda had a no hitter going into the six, we're up seven and nothing, and you blink, we walk a few bats, you make an error and it's seven to five, right? Just that quick, we were in total control of the game. all of a sudden it's seven to five and then we had a two run home run in the top of the seventh to go up nine to five, but then they scored two more and got the time run at second base. During the game, it's not fun, right? we're competing and I'm in the middle, after the game. Boy, that's gonna come in handy. That's gonna come in handy down the road when we need that, because we need to be in those situations. We need to be challenged. We need to be in tough situations.'cause in the playoffs, this conference tournament this weekend, there's gonna be a dog fight. I don't know that we come out of it unscathed. yeah, it's tournament setting, and everybody's after us. and throw in the weather now and the change of the schedule and all that stuff, it's not going, it's not in our favor. Everything is going against us is the number one seed. we typically, we had it set up to where we play the winner of a game, but they have now had to make a pitching decision. Do they throw their number one in game one or they say they're number one against us, and now they're getting a day's rest. So we're gonna be able to, they're gonna throw their number one in game one, they're gonna throw their number one against us in game two the next day. that's not good, so we're gonna have to be battle tested and you hope that the toughness that they've been. We've crumbed down their throat, whether they liked it or not pays off. It's too early to tell, but you hope it does. So it's tough, you just never know. And at the end of it, we may look back on'em like, wow, we're probably a little rough on this group, maybe Aida, but, I don't think that we can, I don't think I can do it any other way, yeah. I think if I have to start changing too much and it's time for me to find something else to do, coach, I hope you don't,'cause I love your authenticity. I love your passion. I love your conviction. For me, I want to have you back on in July. Okay. Because I wanna see who you are when you're not in the thick of it.'cause my question for you is, what does Wade Wilson look like when he is not neck deep into the season? do you relax? A lot. I have to, and I've gotten, part of the reason, a big part of the reason that I've been able to continue to do this and why I love TLU one, my family's happy. Yeah. I've, since Covid, I've played a lot of golf and it's, it is my way to just forget about everything. And my wife has been so awesome about it. God dog. Yeah. it's been easy for no, not today, but she's just, and for me it's been an escape, and it's needed. I think I'm a pretty tough guy, and I, after Saturday I got home and just, I lost it, i'm just overwhelmed and it's, yeah. It's not the, it's just you want to do well, you wanna do right by kids, and it's just you question what's too much, at what expense is it worth that, you know, and you hope that you're doing the right thing. And that's the talk we had yesterday with'em is that I think I'm doing right by you. I'm treating you no different than I'd treat my own kids. I genuinely love you. I genuinely love what I do, but is it worth it? That only time's gonna tell. and that's what I told'em yesterday is that five years from now, if you're still calling me, then it was worth it. Yeah, that's the true testament is that there's a relationship outside of softball, yeah. and I think this time of year it just, wears on you a little bit because of all the other stuff. We're trying to win. We're trying to do the right thing, and it's only the pressure, I talked Kendra, I've forgotten to be pretty good. Source of, I can rely on him to talk me through some things, and he said, you just blow through the victories and every loss takes a chunk out of you. And it does Ring. So true. it's, we're blessed to do what we do. We really are, were blessed to get to coach. I get to do this for a living. how lucky am I that I'm not having to go to work nine to five and do all that other stuff? So I know how blessed I am. I know that God dog, I'm in a great spot here. I've got a great job and my boss is great. It's just, you gotta be able to find a way to get away from it. And I've been fortunate enough to be able to do that. you mentioned a mentor or a friend that you can count on, and you talked about your wife. I think when you have a brain like yours, and I had a similar brain in terms of. I just never turned it off. Season was over, I could turn it off a little bit. I could golf fish, what, whatever that was for you as a coach. But it's hard to pause when you're in the thick of it. It is, it's hard. And I'm a big believer in how you do anything. It's how you do everything. That's right. And my wife has to remind me quite a bit that, Hey, I'm not one of your players. and I try, I've heard that once or twice. I get reminded of that. And so I try not to take any of this home with me, but I think at the same time she recognizes that I'm under. Stress right now, So I concentrate and I don't feel stressed necessarily when I'm at home. but last night I got home and I got home at six o'clock and I was on the phone till 10 30, whether I was talking to recruits or other coaches or trying to figure out this stuff. and she's in bed and I took time off to go kiss her goodnight and tuck her in and all that stuff. and so I got a text from her this morning like, Hey, I hope you have a great day. You're gonna get through it. And so it, it definitely, she's been with me long enough and under, she recognizes it probably before I do. Yeah. to have that that in my corner is definitely, oh. It's a blessing, man. I love to hear that kids understand that too. My kids are great and it's just, boy, they get it, all right, coach, I'm gonna lighten this up. I've been making you work emotionally. I'm gonna do a little rapid fire with you, and these don't have to be quick answers, but just some fun stuff. So any recruits out there, any parents, any high school coaches that want to get to know you at different level? If you weren't coaching softball, what would you be doing? I don't know. I wanted to be a doctor. that's what I started doing, and I realized I wasn't disciplined enough to go to school that long. my father was a police officer, and I thought I'd have been really good at that. I'd probably be in sales,'cause I think I'd be good at it, Yeah. It's really all coaches are. we're selling our school, selling our philosophy and, yeah. I tell my kids all the time, my players that I don't have to do this. I could, be successful, whatever I do. I don't know what it would be, but It's a great role model for them. favorite athlete growing up? Pete Rose, Charlie Huss. Huel Man. He just got after Larry Bird was another one. He just played the game the right way. so those two are probably my biggest two favorite sports movie. Ooh. we need a good softball movie, don't we? Haven't made one of those. Hoosiers is good. We watchers on the way up. Yeah. The day right after Gene Hackman died and our kids, nobody on our team had ever seen Hoosiers. Really? Are you kidding me? Bull Durham's great. A little different kind. A little more talent is anything but, Hoosiers I think is pretty good. Have you watched the League of your Own with the kids? Oh yeah. That's another one I love. It's funny that one of the ladies that was in there when I was at Sentence, she was a winner Texan right outside of sentence. So she got to come and s and talk to our kids. Oh, wow. She was one of the characters in the movie. one of the original peaches came. Wow, that's great. Our kids had, she got to sign their the movie jacket. It was one of the main characters and I don't remember her name. I memory's terrible. But yeah, it was pretty cool. So yeah, that, that's another good movie. Our kids would softball team really likes that one. That's cool. Is there a hidden gem in Sine Texas that every visitor should go see or eat out? Is there a hidden gem? no. There's so many hole in the wall taco shops here. Yeah. It's my go-to. They, I they take care of you. It's small owned young guy that owns it. I haven't eaten there in a while, but. It's a great breakfast spot. and you wouldn't know it. It looks like a little house, yeah, it's a good spot. That's good. I want you to do this for another 20 years if you've got it in you, but if there's one word or one legacy that you want people to mention when they hear Coach Wade Wilson, in the end, what is it? Passion. Yeah. That's one I'd give you. and what is passion to you?'cause it's different for all of us, it's different. Yeah. different things, music really I'm really influenced by music. there's songs that just touch me and it just, ugh. Gets me, you got a favorite group band? No. No. I've never had, I've never been much of favorites of anything. Yeah. I've never had a favorite team. I've had a few favorite coaches and I was a big Bob Knight fan and Mike Zeki and Yeah. Mike Andre. The greatest thing about softball, and I'll say this is the greatest thing about softball, is that we, as high school coaches and D three coaches have access. To the big dogs. Yeah. We have access to Pat Murphy and Mike and Robin, Rhonda Revel and all those hutch and all the list goes on and on. We get to rub elbows with'em and they're genuine and they'll talk to you. If I caught'em right now, they're gonna answer the phone and Yep. And football coaches, I would bet that Nick Saban's not taking those calls, for the most part, and I think that's the beautiful part of softball is that we're all in this together. We all get it. and I've never been big dogged, and just a little OD three or a high school coach that's trying to make it, and they are, they've always been awesome, and I think that's a huge part of our game. And the reason that we've seen so much growth here lately is because of that. Yeah, I'm the same way. I tell stories all the time about how much I learned as a basketball coach, that Tom Izzo or Lou Olson or Mike Chesky, just after they were speaking an event, took 20 minutes to talk, rebounding with me or talk about practice development. I was just like, I can't believe you just took 20 minutes with me, some punk D three coach. Yep. you gave me everything. You gave me the world. Awesome. And then told me to email you and get more. I wanna stop this section and I wanna thank you so much for sharing and I can tell how much pressure you put on yourself and how hard this is on you to be the coach you want to be. But just from a guy that. It gets to be on the outside. Now looking in, I'm so thankful there's coaches, like you still doing it and still doing it your way.'cause the kids need it. The kids need that challenge. They need to be pushed, they need to be able to look in the mirror and see something other than what everybody's telling'em to see. It's good to hear that. I appreciate it. That was Wade Wilson head softball coach at Texas Lutheran University. What stood out most to me wasn't just the championship pedigree or the record setting numbers, it was the raw honesty. When Coach Wilson got emotional talking about the pressure he puts on his team and the fear that it might cloud how much he truly cares, it hit home for me. I see a lot of myself and Coach Wilson, his relentless drive, the internal tug of war between standards and relationships. That's something I've lived and hearing him speak with such vulnerability, remind me just how personal this profession really is. Coaching isn't just about the game. It's about who you're becoming while you build others. This conversation impacted me. Not just as a podcast host, but as a coach, a father, and a leader who's walked a very similar road. If this episode re resonated with you, I'd love for you to rate the show, leave a comment and hit that follow button so we can keep these meaningful conversations going. And if you're looking for more resources on coaching, recruiting, or helping athletes grow through the college journey, visit coach matt rogers.com where you can pick up a copy of my book, significant Recruiting. You can read my weekly blog. Subscribe to the free weekly newsletter for updates and advice on college recruiting. Or you can schedule a one-on-one strategy session with me to talk through your personal journey. Thanks again to Coach Wilson for his transparency, his toughness, and his heart, and thank you for listening. We'll see you next time on The Significant Coaching Podcast.