Episode #101: Sue Enquist on Recruiting

🏆  Baby = Culture: Sue Enquist on Team Ownership and Lessons from John Wooden 

On this episode of the Significant Recruiting Podcast, I’m joined by legendary coach and consultant Sue Enquist for a powerful look at recruiting, leadership, and team culture. Sue shares one of her signature philosophies—“Culture is a baby, and the players are the babysitters”—and challenges recruits and parents to rethink how they approach building and protecting team culture. 

She also opens up about her mentor, the late Coach John Wooden, affectionately called “Papa”, and the timeless lessons she learned from one of the greatest minds in sport. 

Whether you’re an athlete, a parent, or a coach, this episode is full of wisdom on standing out in the recruiting process and thriving within a team. 

For more recruiting tools, visit CoachMattRogers.com and check out my new book, The Volleyball Recruit’s Journal, available August 27 on Amazon. 

Transcript

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The players are the babysitters of the culture. The players are in charge. I always say culture is like a baby, and the babysitters are in charge of keeping an eye on the culture 24 7, and they must feed it multiple times during the day. Culture is every interaction by every human on the team. Welcome back to the Significant Coaching Podcast in our recruiting segment. I'm your host, Matt Rogers. You just heard a clip from one of the most respected voices in college sports, Sue Quist, sharing her philosophy. Culture is a baby and the players are the babysitters. I love it. It's such a powerful image. A baby needs constant care, attention and protection. It's fragile. It needs to be fed and nurtured daily. And when a team treats its culture that way, when every player takes ownership of it, special things happen. In this episode, Sue takes us inside the recruiting journey In a way only she can. She breaks down the game's biggest challenges, NIL, the transfer portal and shifting priorities for college programs while reminding families that the fundamentals never change. She shares timeless advice for parents, teacher athletes to talk about failure to reflect on their day and to show growth. In every conversation with a coach, she introduces the concept of mastery, treating your sport like a craft, and reminds us that character development and love can coexist. Whether you're recruit a parent or a coach, this episode is packed with insights to help you stand out and grow on and off the field. And if you're looking for tools to stay organized and prepared during your recruiting journey, visit coach matt rogers.com. You'll find strategies and resources for families and athletes. And don't miss my brand new book, the Volleyball Recruits Journal. Available August 27th at amazon.com. All right, let's dive in. Here's my recruiting conversation, part two with Sue Quist. Coach Enquist, I want to go back to your time as a recruiter because I know so much has changed now, and now we're dealing with the NIL. We're dealing with a portal, so many things that you didn't have to really deal with at at this high level. When you look at how you recruited back then and how maybe you're teaching a college coach how to recruit now, what are some of those focus points about how to build a program and finding that right talent? Where do we begin? In doing so. Well, the first thing I wanna acknowledge is I've been outta the game for, uh, 20 years, so I'm not gonna talk about what we did'cause it's irrelevant. Okay. But I will break it down in two ways. I will speak to timeless things that are still relevant. Okay. Timeless. So it worked in 2006. It will work in 2025. And then timely things that I think are even more relevant for the parent today. So the timeless things. If your daughter or son do not know how to talk about failure, you will slip into the average bucket. Most young student athletes coming into the coach's office, they're not comfortable talking about their failure. Teach your children to learn about what they loved about their day, what they didn't love about it, and how they're gonna fix it. And we call it being in mastery. So we say your mental and physical game. That is your craft. So if you're in mastery, you're working on your craft. Just like leather workers work on their craft of doing leather works or a shoe, uh, person working on building a beautiful shoe, it is a craft that we're working on. It's a work in progress. You never reach the destination. You're getting 1% better every day. When we teach our children, your softball hitting defense character development is out here. I can slice and dice it. As a parent and be critical of you. Has nothing to do with how much I love you. Put your sport out here. And I always tell parents, Hey Susie, I need to do some I, I wanna talk about the craft today. It could be about their schoolwork, right? As a parent, talk about those things. Talk about their work ethic. That's number one. Number two is I'm looking for a student athlete that knows how to speak about their character. So I love to ask a student a really big heady question. This is timeless. This is relevant. What does character mean to you? That's it. What does it mean to you? And so I always share with parents sim those that can simplify really big words that gets my attention. And then when they can give me an example of what they're claiming. So if someone said to me, Susie, what does character mean to you? I would say how I think, how I speak and how I act are in alignment. And I exude readiness and optimism. How I think, how I speak, how I act, are in alignment. And I exude readiness and optimism next best, right? That's number one, my ability to articulate it. Then I say, and do you wanna know what that looks like in how I think, how I speak, and how I act? Do you wanna know what that looks like? You say that to the college coach. In my behaviors. And then you give an example in how I am a good teammate. This is what it sounds like. And in my mind, this is how I manage failure recovery. Failure recovery is just understanding how the brain works. It's a card deck of vibrations, a high vibration, low vibration, good thoughts, weak thoughts. Once I understand these two are having conversations with each other all the time, and I know how to separate them. Push them to a safe space and pick them up later and activate my strong voice. That's mental regulation right there. Acknowledge the two voices in your head. Can't control what comes in consciously can't control, but you can control where it goes and how you answer the call with your optimism. Okay, I'm good at that. I'm 17 and I'm good at that. And I'm a heck of a great kid. I have a 4.0 GP, a National Honor society, and I'm a pitcher. I'm five five and I throw 60 mile an hour. How am I being evaluated? You've already been evaluated before you get to the park because the, this is timely. This is all relatively new in the last six to eight years. We already know a, a multitude of criteria on you regarding your, your results on speed. All of the technology that's being used on spin rate range, um, how, uh, your percents of strike versus ball, um, where the ball gets pitched, the heat maps on you. So there is gonna be a full chart. Around your physical skills. And if they're, if they're not, the parent needs to get someplace where they're offering standardized skill assessment where it is completely controlled. It's completely objective. So you have that data.'cause what you're trying to do is you, you're trying to become an apple to an apple. You're in that small town in Vermont. You wanna be an apple to that girl that lives in Los Angeles. Her spin rate is this, your spin rate's that. Her velocity. Is this your velocity? Is that And the same with hitting, we've got a multitude of tools now that are vetted and verified out there that you Now can we, I always say to parents, try to create apple to an apple. You wanna be compared apple to apple. So number one. Making sure you have the standardized skills attached to your bio so you can be an apple to an apple. That's number one. The second thing I'm looking at is I would love to come early and watch you warm up. I like to watch you, what I call, prepare to prepare. Are you, are you social girl?'cause you have performance energy. You're, you're, you're elevated, so you're a social girl. No judgment on my part, I just have to know what I have. Right, because I wanna, I'm watching what her needs are so I can create'em when she comes to my school. Right. So, so we had a player of the year that was a clown. She had to be crazy and funny and laughing and weaving in and out and listening to music and, but that was her leveler, that's how she leveled out, right? Then I have quiet thunder. Who wants Mm. I've gotta create the conditions where my team knows. Especially with pictures. I mean, guys, anybody that says everybody's the same, come, come on everybody. We put a circle around the position. Yeah, they're special. Do you room those two kids together? No, no, no. We, we leaned into it. We leaned into the. The power of diversity, we leaned into it. So, so you would, you would keep them separate? You wouldn't let, we would, yeah. Because what we'd lean into the diversity and say, okay, who, what, who fits best with who? And we would put the players in charge of how.'cause we, when you're living together, we want comfort. I don't want them to be growing on leadership when we're at the World Series. Right. I want them going like this, right? Yes. Right. We can do all the learning in the fall and, and growing as humans. By the time we're competing, we understand our differences. We acknowledge we're not gonna be perfect and we're gonna be the best team and plan B, I'm gonna be the best teammate, even though I wanna scratch your eyes out. No one talks about this, Matt. Everyone will say. Oh, look at, you know, look at this championship team. They're so locked on. They're so together. That's such baloney. That championship team, they have dealt with a lot that nobody knows about. That's right. They've dealt with the cat fights, they've dealt with the boozing on Friday night. They've dealt with the kid that's on probation. They deal with a lot, not to mention the external, right. But what they mastered is they move through everything really efficiently and they don't let it get in way of the competition. Yeah. And when you have a team that says, I know I can't stand you Monday through Friday, but on Friday night I'll take a bullet for you. That's the championship team, and that has to come from their teammates holding each other accountable and letting coaches have the players be empowered to be in charge of their culture. The coach sets the vision and the scaffolding, the structure, how we welcome'em, how we love'em up, how we hold them accountable. The players are the babysitters of the culture. The players are in charge. I always say culture is like a baby. Culture is like a baby, and the babysitters are in charge of keeping an eye on the culture 24 7, and they must feed it multiple times during the day. Culture is every interaction by every human on the team. Like I go nuts. So when players say, oh, we have a horrible culture, our co, our coaches suck. No, no, no. That's not the case. You're in charge of the culture. You think your culture suck. Get all your players together and say, we're in charge of the fun zone. You're just in charge of the structure. When players are empowered, that's so great, coach, that they're in charge of the culture. They're in charge of being the babysitter, they're rocking the baby. Every conversation matters. Those teams explode and end up playing their best softball. I've never had anybody explain culture that way to me, and it's so profound. It is so dead on. The teams that win championships, they've taken full ownership. Yeah. They're not gonna let that, they're not gonna let that baby fall down. They're not gonna let that baby drown in the tub. They're, they're, they're on top of it. Yeah. You like, even like you watch UCLA this year, you watch how they like under dubs. Yeah. They are not looking at Kelly Inwe Perez. They're looking at each other. Yeah. Figuring it out. They are a player empowered program. And so you look at Oklahoma, same thing. They're not looking at Patty Gaso. They're not looking at jt. Yeah. They know the deal. You look at top programs, that is a very similar theme from the outside. I'm not in their business. I don't wanna act like I, I, I am, but I've been a part of championship programs in multiple sports, and that is a common theme. They take ownership in every conversation and they feed the baby multiple times. They never take their eyes off the baby culture. Culture is not an event. Matt, all all due respect to, you know, we're gonna go away for three days. We're gonna do marshmallows, we're gonna climb a mountain, we're gonna carry a telephone pole and push tires. Lo love that for teaching the grit and stretching. That is, that is an event. If I'm not holding my teammate accountable for not dressing right, for not coming early, as on time, the culture is gonna die a slow death because everything matters. When it comes to culture, everything matters. When your baby sitting, the baby where the baby lays, where the baby sits, when the baby wakes up, when she goes to the bathroom, when she eats, everything matters. And teams that do that end up having great. Enjoyable seasons and hopefully playing their best softball. The 16-year-old that you're watching at a tournament, they strike out, they walk back to the dugout and you see them give a look to their parent. Does that concern you that they're gonna struggle being the babysitter of your culture? It there, I can't judge it completely that it, that it's that they don't have interest. It could be they don't know, but what it does tell me is if I do elect to take this athlete, I know I'm gonna have to teach her how to untether from that behavior. And we, we teach them that. Right? The colleges will teach them and you have to be open as a. A young student athlete to know that if I can get you to feel a sense of control around your play and your sense of, of deep service to your teammates, it will end up becoming more enjoyable. But that, that glance has to do with they're still tethered to wanting to do well for their parents. And that's not a bad thing. It's just mentally, that's not when you should be thinking about it. Are you worried that they're looking because they want the coaching from the parent more than the acceptance? It, it, it doesn't, it's all of those, right. So it's all those things go, I just don't wanna let'em down. I I'm looking to make sure they're still cheering. Right. Okay. That there, there are many things and it's, it's hard as a college coach not to judge it, but if our coaches could have more empathy around what kind of road do I pave for that person to, what are the steps we need to take? And the usually that, when I see that. I realized their long-term athletic development has been stunted. Yeah. And they have, they have lost their identity. So whenever you watch young children around, uh, competitive identity, uh, young children are so connected to their identity. Yeah. They're playing. They don't care about the score. They're having fun. It's like the fun zone and a game breaks out. They're connected to their sport identity. As performance results get more important, this is what happens. And now it becomes all about performance and results and they lose their identity. So we have to get them and we do an audit around their own identity. Yeah. And we teach them how to fill in they, it's already in them. So our job, it's these things that you lost in the last eight years. They're already in you at UCLA. We're just gonna shine a light on'em to get them all aligned to this side so you can go into that game 100% and not worry about, am I still a good person? So good. Can I still win a championship as a college coach and recruit this way? I love that kid's mojo. I love the, I love the way she finished that game. Can I, can I recruit with that mindset and still win championships? I, I think so. I, I'm gonna tell you why, uh, when I was coaching, probably not, and I'm gonna tell you why. Okay? The talent differential was too large. Okay, so back in the day, you know, yes, we won a lot. I'm super proud. The women that led amazing. Their toughness, their teammates amazing. Okay. Amazing, amazing alumni. Don't call me and say, coach, you totally, you know, you totally pooped on us. The reason it would've been so difficult then the talent differential. So if you are not a top five team. The chances of you winning a championship'cause it, the gap is so large talent wise. Yeah. Today you could be a top 15 team. The talent differential is so close. No, you take that kid that's got that mojo that is all in their identity and they've got some basic fundamentals. Oh yes, you can now with the caveat. We talk about that Cinderella story, Cinderella stories. We gotta remember why it's defined as that. No one thought they could be there, but have you ever heard of a back to back to back Cinderella team that won championships? No.'cause they wouldn't be a Cinderella team. That's right. But today you're only a Cinderella once. Right. But today I do think you recruit. If I were recruiting today. I would have it in three, three groups. I would have it in the customer.'cause I'm at, if I'm at UCLA, I've gotta get customers. You gotta get the, I don't if I her stu, you gotta get the studs that I don't care if I only get her one year. I don't care. Yeah, I would never have said that when I was caught. I, no, me either. I recruited parents, I said, I'm gonna recruit you for the rest of your life. That's right. Today I would say I'm recruiting her and she may get a better offer in a year and I want you to know it's okay. Let me get her ready. I would, I would lean into, I'll get her ready. I would, I would literally say, Hey, mom and dad, listen, we're gonna be able to do, do, do, do. We're gonna elevate her. I know she's only worth a quarter million right now. I think after one year we could get her to 600, and we know these schools, we know which schools have that money. Right, right. That's how I would sell that to the customer. To this one, I'm gonna sell what UCLA is. Right. We're gonna be a training center for life, and I guarantee you, when this is all said and done and your daughter's 65 and the customer's 65, I will guarantee you they will have more money in the bank. They will retire sooner. That's what I would say. Okay? The last group, I'd say, Hey, look. I know you're not as fast. I know you're not as strong, but you have something inside you that we have not been able to quantify, but I see it. I smell it. I feel it. I need you. You belong with us. You are gonna be the difference maker in this program. So it would be those three. I love it. I'm not gonna keep abusing your time. You've been so wonderful to me and whoever's listening to this right now. I hope you understand you just got an hour and a half of masterclass these last two episodes. I am a former college basketball coach, and if I don't ask you this question, I'm gonna kick myself for the rest of my life. Just wait. Don't ask me who my favorite player or my favorite team is. I would never do that to you. Okay, great. Never do that to you. You got quality time. With John Wooden before he passed. Am I wrong? Yeah, he was my mentor. Tell me, what you took away from those years you spent with him. I would say the biggest thing Papa taught me was love is unconditional, and when a coach can be in his love or her love. Of being a teacher, leader, coach. And you'll notice the order, a teacher, a leader, a coach. If you can stay in that sequencing, you'll make an impact on that young adult that will stay with them forever. And my favorite papa story is, I was complaining one day we weren't playing well. Wha wha wha, call up papa, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he says, you know what? It seems like I'm realizing you don't love the game unconditionally. I go, what do you mean? And he says, well, I noticed that you say we, we, we, when things go well and you say they, they, they, when things don't go well. Mm. If you love the game and you love the people in the game unconditionally, you're always you taking control of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yeah. You've gotta love that. He used to say, you have to love the game unconditionally on its best days and its worst days. Yeah. It's great advice for raising kids. It's great advice for marriage. It's great advice for life. Yeah. You know, Matt, I wanna, before we get off, I wanna share with our, our community that, that we have a group of people. I, I, I shot my mouth off a lot here, right. And I know parents can get done and like, feel a little bit more anxious possibly, right. All that energy that doesn't know where to go. And, and we're pulling together some people to, to help close the gap. Of leadership, recruiting, mental readiness. From senior and high school to college, and then we're also building out a long-term plan for them to be career ready when they graduate. And I think that's missing. I, I think we, um, as, as a college, I'm, I'm a professor in the master's program at UCLA for transformative leadership. We're not doing a good enough job. Getting them ready for a career. And I think there's a gap that can be filled. And so we have a group of scholars, champions, subject matter experts, and business exemplars that are gonna be putting together a digital community that allows that that high school. Individual, the college individual and the, and the soon to be graduate, to give them critical skills that are gonna be what we wanna call relevant, impactful, and practical. Relevant. You need it, impactful, it changes you, and being able to have practical, you can use it today. I love it. I'm, I'm a big proponent. I've been talking to presidents about turning our traditional 4 1 4. Semesters into a a, 1, 3, 3, 1. Where that first. Maybe pre-semester is, is about life skills. It's about learning how to communicate, learning how to take notes, learning how to ask questions to a professor, learning how to build relationships. And maybe there's that class at the end of the year where I'm learning how to balance a checkbook. I'm learning how to get an apartment. I'm learning how to write my resume. I'm learning how to present myself in an interview. So I love all that. Where can people find more of you if they want more of Sue Enquist? Well, yeah, like I'm not, I'm not. B bottom line. This is what I do all the time, right? Yeah. I sue en it's s enquist, S-E-N-Q-U-I-S t@ucla.edu. It's easy. Um, and I always say, you know, Sue, if you're gonna shoot your mouth off and be a big know it all, when I always profess to be, learn it alls. Then you gotta give your personal cell phone number. And I always give my number out,(310) 528-1083, and that's my personal phone, phone number. And people say, I can't believe you. Give out your personal number. And I said, you know what? In softball. In sports, parents are so respectful. Yeah, they're, they're not asking, they don't call or text and say, solve the world for me. The only thing I ask is, state your question, state your solution, and if I can help guide you along that. But don't come to me for your answers. Come to me to be able to say maybe a little bit left, a little bit right. But I always want every parent, especially, uh, of course, student athletes, but parents, I have so much respect for them. I'm not who I am. If it wasn't for the fact that I, you know, I'm a daughter of a military father, a two time Purple Heart winner in World War ii, and a mother that was a nurse. So I had this beautiful. Life of rigor and love, and to all those parents out there that are working overtime just to be able to make that travel ball schedule financially. Um, I see you. I want them to know that, and the greatest gift I can give them is my time, and so that's why I give out my number. Just between you and me, I didn't hear any running of your mouth. I heard an a waterfall of knowledge and years of experience and kindness and empathy and compassion, and I'm all for it. I'm a better dad because of our conversation. I'm a better coach because of our conversation. I'm a better leader because of our conversation, and I know we're gonna have hundreds of people that are gonna feel the same way. So Coach Enquist, thank you so much for who you are, and thanks so much for your time today. Thanks for having me. It was great to be here. And that's a wrap on another great recruiting conversation and what an honor it was to spend this time with Coach Sue Quist. Sue, thank you. Not just for sharing your wisdom and practical advice for families and recruits, but for opening the door to some deeply personal stories, your reflections on your mentor, and one of my personal heroes. Coach John Wooden, or as you affectionately called him papa, were a gift. Those moments remind us that recruiting, coaching and competing are about far more than stats and wins. They're about people and values and the impact we have on each other's lives. If you're looking to take the next step in your recruiting journey, don't forget to check out my brand new book, the Volleyball Recruits Journal, launching August 27th on Amazon. It's a tool to keep you organized, focused, and ready for every opportunity and for even more resources, visit coach matt rogers.com where you'll find my original book, significant Recruiting Plus Classes and Tools Inside the Significant Recruiting Launchpad program designed to guide athletes and families. Every step of the way. Hey, thank you for listening. Thank you to Sue for reminding us what true leadership looks like, and thank you for being a part of this community. Until next time, stay focused, stay humble, and stay in the fight. I.